OMGeography
It is just under 87 miles (140 km), travelling through the central highlands of the New Zealand's North Island along State Highway 1, from the small highway town of Taihape to the northern-eastern point of Lake Taupo. If there is more a preposterously, heart-breakingly beautiful 87 miles anywhere in the world, I demand to be teleported there forthwith and will gladly give up any limb that you choose in payment.
I remarked on Twitter yesterday that driving out of Wellington along the southern portion of Highway 1 is such a serene, civilised experience that writing about it is a little dull. I was told that this would soon change (thanks to Kiwi Kali for straightening me out, and for her excellent taste in highway lunch stops - see you in Melbourne?). And did it ever.
Skip to the bottom of this entry for some edited highlights of the photos that I will no doubt be boring you with for months if you are friends with me on Facebook. But before we move on, I will say this: if ever you get the chance to visit, do so. Immediately.
'Two toes, amazing feat'
That particular masterpiece of a headline was from Wellington's Sunday Star-Times, with the accompanying image juxtaposing Martin Guptill's beaming face and Daniel Vettori leaping like a particularly spring-flippered salmon to dismiss a dumbstruck Marlon Samuels, who was just having that kind of day.
For all the pyrotechnics from the likes of Brendon McCullum and the Anderson-Elliott-Ronchi booster pack, Guptill may be the most watchable batsman in this New Zealand side. There is something gloriously uncomplicated about his strokeplay, particularly his straight drives: the bat is raised, the ball is seen, and the rest is just gravity and timing. Rohit Sharma still has the high score, but while that has already almost faded into the mists of time, I and everyone else who packed out the Cake Tin on Sunday will remember the Two-Toe Show forever. Speaking of which…oh Daniel. Daniel, Daniel, you wonderful perpetual grad-student you.
New Zealand are the world's best fielding side by a distance, but nobody expected this. Vettori has bowled as well as he ever has in this tournament, but in the field his body is almost audibly creaking, so the athleticism, judgement and sheer hang-time he displayed on the way up (as well as the sang-froid once he had finally made his way down to join us mere mortals on the ground) were a privilege to behold. #AirVettori indeed.
The West Indies were spirited with the bat, but there has surely never been a more supine fielding or bowling display in the history of international or even professional cricket. Other than Jason Holder's over-the-shoulder catch to get rid of the frenetic McCullum, and a couple of uncharacteristically committed efforts from Chris Gayle, 11 cardboard cutouts could have fielded better, and given the wind in Wellington would probably have moved quicker.
South Africa will be a damn sight more committed, but were I a) not skint and b) a betting man, I would place a small-to-medium wager on their top-heavy batting to be exposed by the unerring excellence of Messrs Boult, Southee, Vettori and Henr (the injury to Adam Milne is a crying shame, he was superb in Wellington), and similarly for their weak fifth/sixth bowling options to struggle against the Black Caps' depth and power.
Coffee talk
A word, as promised, on that magical combination of beans and water (milk and sugar are for the weak) that is the world's drug of choice. The Antipodean cities are justly famed for their cafes and coffee shops, and so far out of the alarmingly large number of cups that I have drunk, by far the worst have been at the breakfast buffets of major international hotel chains.
It seems then that I have come 11,000 miles only to discover that if you want a good cup of joe, make sure it is served to you by a Melburnian or Wellingtonian - just like in London. Plus ça change...
Radio gaga
As anyone who listened to Guerilla Cricket on Sunday will know, my lunch break was...interesting. I'm not sure if the recording is available as yet, but I ended up conducting a live vox-pop with one pleasantly and, briefly, one unpleasantly inebriated Kiwi fan on the concourse outside the Cake Tin about the events of the first innings.
It went better than I could have realistically hoped for given that I was given about ten seconds notice, and that I picked my interviewees more or less at random. Certainly as opening lines of interviews go, my first guest's, "Aw, how good was that two hundee?" will be tough to beat. I hope to be doing more of the same at the semis and the final, so make sure you tune in (or indeed TuneIn) during future World Cup innings breaks to hear what happens.
I may also be doing some manner of thing with Guerilla Cricket's Kiwi spirit brothers The Alternative Commentary Collective during the game at Eden Park, but whether that will happen and what it will entail is yet to be confirmed, so keep an eye on Twitter. I'm here, they're here.
Till next time, here are the previously promised pretty pictures of the middle bit of the top bit of New Zealand. Bye!
‘Scuse me, mister, your country’s on fire…
